Vicarious Life
by Princess-Meru
Summary: Originally by Switch One incident leads to another causing a horrible situation. Slash, angst, humor, mpreg DxH Updated every Tuesday
1. Chapter 1

(AN: Hi, Meru here. This was written by Switch and now I'm adopting it, so it's moved to here. I'm sorry to all you long time readers.)

It had been an accident. Neither had meant for it to happen. Harry Potter had been hurrying to class while Draco Malfoy had been calmly sauntering through the empty halls clutching a round vial to his chest. Harry had tripped on the edge of a rug and flew to the floor, right in front of Draco, who also flew forward. The vial he'd been carrying fell from his hands fell to the cold floor and shattered, sending droplets of the black liquid it had encased everywhere.

"Ow," muttered Harry, "Malfoy, get off of me."

Draco grunted and rolled off of Harry, almost into the puddle of black on the floor. He turned and looked at the puddle and sat upright.

"Oh, shit," he murmured, realizing the black substance was on his hands and his skin was absorbing it.

"Malfoy, what is this stuff?" asked Harry, looking at the black that he had rubbed off his face and was sticking to his fingers. He gasped as the liquid entered his pores and ingnited his veins with an invisible fire. He panted heavily, feeling his heart rate increase and his skin flush. He felt as though he was burning alive so he undid the top clasp of his black robe, revealing his collar bone.

Draco stared at the newly exposed skin, swallowing air like a fish out of water. He closed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists, trying to refrain from reaching out.

"What is this stuff, Malfoy?" repeated Harry, frantic for an answer. He stood up and turned to look at Draco, then fell silent.

Draco lurched forward, trying to catch his breath, "It's a potion. It-"

He suddenly rose to his feet and pounced on top of Harry and mashed their lips together. The kiss was harsh and violent, Malfoy's lips brutally parting his own, Malfoy's tongue invading and filling his mouth, Malfoy's teeth heavily clanking against his. Harry felt violated, abused, and numerous other feelings he couldn't and didn't dare to indentify. One that filled his whole body, wrapped its way around mind, and saturated his soul was the last emotion anyone would ever guess that Harry Potter would feel in this situation- desire.

He realized he should probably be trying to push Malfoy away as his back was forced down against the cold stone floor and his head hit with a thump. He realized that the connection with his head and the floor would probably cause as large lump to reside there the next day. He even realized that Malfoy had just stolen his first kiss and was making good time in attempting to steal more of Harry's first times. The shocking thing was Harry didn't seem to care.

He moaned as the clasp of his robe was undone and the Slytherin's lips attacked his neck. He sighed as the boy that had made his life hell since his arrival at Hogwarts six years ago continued removing his robe and undoing the front buttons of the shirt he wore beneath it. Fire was coursing through his veins and the blonde's touch was pouring gasoline on it. He panted for air as Malfoy's hands trailed down his chest and rested at the hem of his pants. The thought then hit Harry that he was being molested by a boy he was supposed to loathe in the middle of a Hogwarts hallway.

Harry grinned and stood up. Malfoy growled at him with a questioning look on his face. He was then yanked into an empty storage room. The slamming of the heavy door resonated through the stone corridor.

"Mr. Potter, so nice of you to join us. Twenty points from Gryffindor for your tardiness. Please take your seat quickly," said Snape in a clipped voice, writing on the dirty chalkboard. He paid no attention to Harry's flushed face or the fact that his hair was matted down with sweat.

Harry quickly sat down and stared down at his books as Professor Snape continued his instructions. The repercussions of his actions were suddenly hitting. His body was already becoming stiff and sore, he reeked of sweat and other fluids, and one thought rang out in his mind above all others.

'I just lost my virginity to Draco Malfoy.'

The boy suddenly walked in. Harry forced himself not to look at him as he handed Snape a note and sat down. The note had definately been forged and Malfoy needed to teach him whatever spell he had used because he looked perfectly fine, not affected in the slightest.

A small twinge of pain teased his insides. What if it hadn't affected Malfoy? What if it hadn't meant anything to him at all? What if it had just been a physical urge that he had just needed to get rid of and had used Harry's body as a vessel to divest his urge into? That made no sense whatsoever. Harry burried his face in his hands, willing his mind to work correctly.

"Potter!" Snape shouted, causing Harry to jump. He hadn't even realized that he had been starting to cry until a tear trailed down his cheek and caught on his lower lip as the whole class stared at him, "Please pay attention. Now as I was saying, this potion is very unstable. It is a base potion for many other potions and can change with the slightest imbalance of ingredients..."

Harry's eyes were closed, but he listened. He couldn't stand to look at anyone. Shame filled his thoughts. He felt dirty. He wanted to run and take a shower and scrub his skin until the sweat and dirt was gone.

"Harry, are you alright?" Ron asked from the seat next to him. Harry looked up and realized everyone else was preparing the potion. He quickly began copying the directions off of the board.

"It's nothing you should be concerned with. I'm just a little tired."

Ron frowned, measuring out a green potion, "You seem upset. Do you want to talk about anything? We could talk later if you want."

"Just leave me alone, Ron," replied Harry, not wanting his friend butting in on his business. This was private business that he didn't want Ron knowing all of his secrets and inner thoughts. He used to. What had changed?

He glanced up and jumped out of his seat, "Neville!" he exclaimed. Neville had been writing something down when Crabbe had walked past and dumped an entire vial of a purple solution into his cauldron. The cauldron was now boiling and the liquid in it was thickening. The liquid then became a twisted worm-like creature with no defining characteristics and no physical aspects whatsoever. It began squirming and crawling out of the pot.

Neville looked at Harry then at his cauldron. He stood frozen as the goo-like object prepared to pounce of him. Snape began to walk over, but Harry was fast and pushed Neville out of the way before the creature could get him. It tackled Harry and wrapped itself around his head. Several Gryffindor boys ran over and tried to peel it off of him, but it was to no avail. The creature left him unable to breathe and he quickly went limp, allowing it to enter his orifices without any retaliation from Harry.

Harry collapsed to the ground as Snape sent a Slytherin girl off to find Madame Pomfrey. He gasped for air when the creature was completely inside of him and stared at the ceiling with unseeing eyes. They were wide open and their normal emerald color was dull and washed-out. He looked like a slowing rotting corpse as his skin took on several different shades of green, blue, purple, and yellow. No one know what to make of it.

"What happened?" asked Snape.

"Crabbe poured something into my cauldron," stated Neville, barely refraining from stuttering as he wiped tears from his face.

Snape glared at Crabbe, "What was it, Crabbe? What did you put in it?"

Crabbe held and empty vial with a label written in some different language that none of the students knew. Snape instructed Ron to watch Harry and make sure he kept breathing while he went to the back room and returned with a thick book.

He quickly flipped through the worn, dusty pages until he stopped on one. His finger moved down the page until he got to the bottom and turned the page again. This continued for several pages until he finally got to one. His thin, pale lips moved as he read. He finished reading and got an agitated look on his face. He sighed and shut the book.

"Ron, smack the boy."

Ron stared at him for a moment then quickly followed the odd instructions, fearing the loss of more points from Gryffindor on Harry's behalf. Harry jolted up into a sitting position and gasped, his skin and eyes hastily returning to their normal hues. His eyes moved around the room, taking everything in. He swallowed and coughed.

"What happened?" he asked then coughed again.

"Crabbe felt it appropriate to form a Liaryr Symbiotus. It crawled inside of you and caused you to go into a comatose-like state of unconcious. You'll be fine."

"I'm sorry, Professor, a what crawled inside of me?" asked Harry. He was trying to be polite and respectful, but his whole body ached and his head was throbbing. He desperately want to jump out of Professor Trelawney's tower for it all to just stop.

"A Liaryr Symbiotus. It's a female egg that witch women implant in themselves when they wish to concieve and have a fast pregnancy. It accelerates the growthrate of the child."

Harry rose to his feet in alarm, "You mean I'm pregnany!"

Snape looked somewhat amused, yet also annoyed, "Mr. Potter, the only way for you to concieve a child in this way would be to engage in intercourse with a male within the next 24 hours-"

"Oh, that's good.

"Or to have had intercourse with a male within the past 24 hours."

Everyone watched as Harry's eyes rolled into th back of his head and he suddenly collapsed to the ground.

"I know I identified the potion correctly. I have no idea why he passed out."

The was Snape's voice. Why was Snape in his bedroom?

"Well, something certainly caused this, Severus. Are you absolutely positive? Is it possible another ingredient was added other than the one you were told of?"

Madame Pomfrey?

"Most certainly not! I already checked with the students. I have no idea what could have caused this!"

"Severus, calm down. You've woken him up."

There was Professor Dumbledore. Harry slowly opened his eyes, revealling the owners of the voices standing by a bed in the infirmary, a bed he was laying in. What had happened?

"What's going on?" asked Harry. The all looked at him. He didn't like it. He wanted them to stop staring at him.

"You passed out in my class," Snape stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Harry nodded slowly, "Why did I-"

He stopped. All of the events of the day suddenly came rushing back to him; the sex, the potion, and the pregnancy were thoughts that immediatly began blaring in his ears.

"Professor Snape, where is Draco Malfoy right now?"

Snape frowned while Dumbledore answered Harry's question, "He's in herbology with Professor Sprout right now. Why do you ask, Harry?"

Harry flung away the white sheet that had covered his clothed body and brushed past them. He walked through the hallways as quickly as he could without it being called running. He either didn't notice or didn't care that Dumbledore, Snape and Pomfrey were all following him, but were unable to catch up with him. He moved through the school with expert ease, knowing the path he took by heart.

He burst into the greenhouse, earning the inquiring looks of the entire class of the sixth year Slytherins and Hufflepuffs. Draco Malfoy stood still, not daring to move until he realized that Harry was coming straight for him. He didn't even have time to run. Harry pounced on top of him and began beating him as hard as he could. It was all Malfoy could do but to attempt to block the the bombardment of punches, kicks, bites, and enraged screams.

No one could tell what Harry was screaming, but he was mad. No one had ever seen Harry that angry, not even when a Ravenclaw had made the mistake of saying that Sirius Black was murdering scum in Harry's presense. There was something in his eyes that reflected the insanity and turmoil he felt inside.

It took all four adults present and several students to drag the flailing Harry off of Draco. They held him back, but he struggled to get his hands back around Malfoy's throat.

"What the hell is your problem, Potter?" Malfoy shouted, daring Harry to tell them all the truth, knowing inside that this choice was a mistake, but it was too late to take it back.

Harry froze. Something inside of him broke. Draco had called him 'Potter'. He hadn't called him Potter before. He'd said Harry. He had moaned and gasped out Harry as they had made love.

'It wasn't making love. It was fucking. He fucked you like a piece of trash or a whore on the street because you're worth the same thing. You're worthless and you mean nothing to him.'

Harry stared at Draco, breathing heavily. No one dared to move. No one dared to speak. No one dared to breathe.

Harry shut his eyes, trying to keep the tears from leaking out. He was stronger than this. He was stronger than this. The tears rolled down his flushed cheeks as Malfoy carelessly wiped a drop of blood from his lip.

"I hate you," Harry whispered, but the silence caused it to ring out in the large room. Harry turned and left and everyone gaped at his back, left in a state of utter confusion.

Snape turned to Malfoy and glared, "Mr. Malfoy, I demand that you explain what all of this is about right this instant!"

Draco gazed down at the dirty floor then allowed his vision to rise. His eyes looked straight into Snape's, "I'm the father."

"How could this happen!" Severus shouted for what seemed like the hundredth time in five minutes.

Harry refused to look at anyone. His line of vision was nailed to a spot on the red carpet that covered the floor on Dumbledore's office. He sat in the velvet cushiond seat next to Draco, rubbing his abdomen, wondering what was going on inside of his body. He was hungry. Very, very, very hungry.

Snape was pacing and yelling while Draco listened to his ranting and Dumbledore tried to calm him down. Snape had something green on the hem of his robe. It was lime green. Mmmmm, limes. Key limes. Key lime pie...

"Harry?" asked Dumbledore.

"Key lime pie," he whispered with a small smile. He licked his lips, imaging the feel of the tart sweetness on his tongue, the fluffy pie filling would be cold against his lips, and the grahm and cinnamon crust would be crunchy and crumbly at the same time.

"Excuse me?"

Harry looked up at Dumbledore, "I want some key lime pie."

Everyone in the room stared at him like he was insane. He just sat and swung his feet back and forth, not daring to look up. Hunger glistened his eyes and he continued to lick and bite his own bruised lips. He tried to pay attention to the matter at hand, but his mind was darting around like a mouse in a maze. He couldn't focus. And he was hungry. Very, very, very hungry.

Dumbledore sighed, "Professor Snape, would you please escort Harry to the kitchens and get him something to eat. Draco and I will remain here and continue our discussion. We will finish up matters with Harry and yourself in the morning."

Harry and Snape left, not knowing what Dumbledore was going to say to Draco. Neither knew if they truly wanted to...  
TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

(Step-author's note- note from Meru-chan: All you readers, please remember, this was Switches story and has been so far. You'll know when it's us. Eneth-kun has finished chapter six and our dear old beta has yet to wake up from vacation. I'm hoping not to get too backed up. Anyway, here you go oh loverly readers, chapter 2.)

(A/N: I had planned on breaking this up into weeks, but due to the enthusiasm of my reviewers, I decided to put this up ASAP. I'll work out the next part when I can, but my muse gets pissy sometimes and stops working. He feed on reviews though... )

Part 1:

Harry was barely able to get out of bed in the morning. His muscles screamed in agony at the slightest movement. He didn't even bother getting fully dressed. He simply put on a pair of pants, an undershirt, and a white dress shirt. His feet were too swollen for him to put on shoes and his back wouldn't have let him bend over to put them on anyone. How he'd gotten his pants on was a mystery to him entirely.

He hobbled down to the empty common room and frowned. A glance at the clock revealed that breakfast had already begun and he was late. His stomach growled and he groaned and made his way to the dining hall as quickly as possible which wasn't very fast at all.

"I think I'm going to die," he muttered as he entered the hall. He was being stared at, he realized immediatly. Nearly every student in the school was staring at him and he felt extremely out of place in his socks and muggle clothes. He stared down at the floor and scurried over to his seat between Hermoine and Ron.

"Good morning, Harry," Neville said softly.

"It's still morning?" Harry asked warily as he dumped food onto his plate. He didn't even know what the food was, but he was going to eat it anyway.

"Did you sleep well?"

There was Neville again. He just kept yelling. Why was he yelling?

"Neville, please stop screaming. I have an awful headache."

Ron looked at Harry in confusion then shrugged at Neville who looked scared. He had been talking at a normal level.

"Is it true?"

Seamus. Harry stared at the Irish boy, bewildered, then realized that the whole school probably knew. He nodded slowly, "Yeah. I'm pregnant. Woo-hoo." His voice was dead and he felt like crying.

"How long?"

Harry stared at Ron, not knowing what he was asking about. Ron turned to him with malice in his eyes and voice.

"How long have you been fucking Malfoy behind our backs?"

Harry gaped at him, apalled, "Are you implying that you believe I had a relationship with Malfoy? Hell no! It was... it was a one time thing. Yesterday was the first and only time. I swear."

Suddenly lurching forward, Harry grabbed his stomach. One thing was on his mind and one thing only. He didn't care about the aching muscles or the sore back or the stiff joints; he sprinted away as fast as he could. Hermoine automatically followed him, telling the others to stay behind.

While she calmly walked to the lavatories, Harry dumped everything he'd ever eaten into the toilet basin. It ripped at his throat and filled his mouth and nostrils. He didn't even notice when Hermoine appeared behind him and sat next to him on the cold floor, rubbing his back.

"What's going on?" he asked her weakly, rubbing a bit of vomit off of his chin with his sleeve.

"It's called morning sickness. You'll throw up everything in the morning then eat like mad and go to the restroom every ten minutes for the rest of the day. Welcome to pregnancy."

"How do you know this?" he asked as she rubbed his head.

"My cousin stayed with us for a while when she was pregnant. It only gets worse from here."

Harry sighed, "I just got pregnant yesterday. I have nine months of this?"

Frowning, Hermoine replied, "Yes, this did seem to happen pretty fast. It usually takes a few weeks I think. I wonder what it is..."

"Do you think something's wrong with the baby!" Harry exclaimed. It surprised Hermoine because he looked terrified.

"Maybe we should talk to Dumbledore or Snape," she said softly. Harry just swallowed and nodded.

On their way to Dumbledore's office, they were stopped by Snape. Hermoine was forced to go to class while Snape took Harry to dumbledore's office himself. When he entered, he received the shock of his life. There sat Draco, Lucius, Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon, and Dudley.

"What's going on?" he asked shakily, disturbed by the fact that those that brought him the most pain had infiltrated his safe haven.

Dumbledore gave him a grim smile, "Harry my boy, have a seat."

He slowly obeyed the odd request and stared down at the floor.

"What is the meaning of all of this?" bellowed Uncle Vernon, "I have been dragged from my breakfast because of some urgent business with this stupid, pathetic waste of oxygen and I demand to know what this is all about so I may return to my breakfast!"

Everyone stared at him, apalled, even Lucius.

"Perhaps one of the boys should explain," stated Snape calmly. Harry nodded, but Draco spoke before he could.

"Well, um, the thing is... I'm going to be a dad in a little while."

Lucius stood up and prepared himself to begin bombarding his son with belittlements and admonishments; however, he was cut off by Vernon.

"What does that have to with that blasted nephew of mine?"

Harry swallowed, barely able to move and whispered, "I'm the mother."

All fell silent again. Lucius was red in the face as he screamed, "How did this happen! Albus, how dare you encourage these lies!"

"It's true, father," muttered Draco, "I was experimenting with a lust potion and I ran into Harry. One thing just lead to another."

"How does a boy get pregnant?" asked Dudley who was obviously very confused.

Snape loudly cleared his throat, "There was an incident in the potions class. One boy tampered with Neville Longbottom's brew and created a Liaryr Symbiotus." Again, the Durselys looked extremely lost, "It is an artificial creature that enters a body through the orificies and becomes a zygote. It grows in the fraction of the time of a normal fertilized egg which was the original purpose. Harry should be giving birth in about nine weeks."

Harry perked up, "Only nine weeks?" Snape nodded. "Well there's a small blessing. I don't think I could go nine months of throwing up every morning."

"This is disgusting," murmured Aunt Petunia, "No only are you a male mother, the child has a male father as well. It's wrong and unnatural."

It sounded as though Dumbledore began growling, but he was simply clearing his throat or so he made it seem, "There is one other issue. It appears we have had a leak."

Harry looked up and nearly burst into tears when the headmaster held up the latest copy of Witch Weekly. The headline read "Boy Who Lived Pregnant!" in large black letters.

"The ministry has already made contact and wishes to have a meeting concerning the custody of the child after its birth. Because both are minors, their legal guardians must be present."

"Custody?" breathed Harry, then rose from his seat and shouted, "Custody! What do you mean 'custody'! It's my baby!"

"Hang on," said Draco angrily, rising to be equal with Harry, "It's mine, too! Why should you get it!"

"Let's just kill it before its born. Get the boy an abortion and be done with all of this," chuckled Petunia. Harry's blood froze.

Then Lucius announced, "I'm with the muggle. Just kill the damn thing."

At that moment, Sirius Black stormed in with Remus Lupin on his tail, trying to hold him back.

"Albus, what the bloody HELL is going on!" he bellowed, holding up the newspaper. Harry instantly ran up and wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist, burying his face in the animagi's chest.

"Sirius, they're trying to kill my baby. Don't let them kill my baby," he muttered, repeating the same thing over and over while Sirius just looked down him, having no clue as to how to respond.

"Forgive us for being upset, but just the mere idea of Harry having a child this young, let alone at all greatly unsettled us, Albus," Remus explained softly, "Perhaps I could get Harry away from all of this while you all discuss this without him. It's obvious you're upsetting him."

"You are so gay, Moony," Sirius chuckled then glared at Lucius, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Sirius, language," admonished Dumbledore.

Lucius smirked, "Haven't you heard? I'm the proud grandfather of the next addition to the Potter line," he said with a malicious smirk while smacking his son on the back several times.

"What is going on!" shouted Vernon.

Sirius wrinkled his nose at Vernon, "I'm Harry's godfather. You're Vernon, correct? You have no idea how much I want to rip off your-"

"SIRIUS!" shouted Remus, cutting him off. "Harry and I are going to the kitchen to get him something to eat. Would anyone else like to join us and escape this insanity?"

Dudley hesitantly rose from his seat and walked over. Draco shrugged and joined them. The door slammed behind them.

"My dad is going to kill me," stated Draco as they sat in a circle on the floor in the kitchen while house elves scurried around, making food for them.

"That is if Sirius doesn't kill him first," muttered Remus with a chuckle, "It's so great to be back here. I missed it. The country's great and all, but I miss Hogwarts. You'll always miss Hogwarts."

"Neville won't," sighed Harry, "He hates it here. He's the nicest guy in the whole world, but people just keep stomping on him and breaking him. He's almost suicidal now. We've stopped him from jumping out of the window twice, you know. He probably feels so guilty right now..."

They all stared at him. They were silent except for the sound of Dudley chewing on a cinnamon bun. Harry just smiled and shrugged it off, "He'll be fine. We only have a year left, right?"

"I won't ever want that year to end," gurgled Draco, who lay flat on the floor, "I want to stay here for as long as possible. I am so sick of my parents."

Dudley nodded and swallowed his food before speaking, "I know how you feel. I can't wait to get away from mine."

Harry let out a sour laugh, "How could you of all people be sick of your parents? You, Dudley, are a fat, spoiled, snobby brat and they say you're perfect and smother you with gifts. You remember the only birthday gift I have ever received before Hogwarts? You gave me a black eye on my ninth birthday. And I think Aunt Petunia gave me a cup cake once, but she kind of threw it at me and it hit my face. You have no right to be sick of your parents."

Dudley was silent. Remus smiled.

"Your dad was amazing Harry," he sighed, laying down on his back to stare at the ceiling, "He could light up a whole room with his smile, save the day from nothing, and woo every girl in a ten mile radius in under twenty minutes. Just like you, Harry."

"Yeah, except I actually have something to save the world from." The three wizards sighed while Dudley remained silent, dumbfounded.

"By the way, Harry, I love your outfit," chuckled Draco. Harry just snorted then jumped as Draco's hand moved over his stomach.

"What are you doing?" he whispered as the pale boy's hand moved over his stomach, rubbing it gently before sliding under both of his stark white shirts.

"I'm trying to figure out how an entire person is going to fit into that tiny stomach of yours," Draco joked. Harry sucked in his breath and closed his eyes as Draco's chilled flesh moved over his own.

"You're cold," he murmured.

Dudley broke into the soft conversation, "You know they say that eating cheese can stimulate the growth of brain cells in an unborn baby?"

They were all silent for a moment, Draco still runbbing Harry's stomach when he asked, "Can I please have some cheese?"

They all started laughed where they layed on the floor. The house elves hurried to bring him a large tray of assorted cheeses.

"We should start choosing names," sighed Draco as he pulled off a chunk of cheese and pressed it against Harry's lips. Harry's mouth opened and Draco slid in the cheese, allowing his fingers to follow the cheese for a few seconds before removing them.

Harry chewed and swallowed, "James Ronald for a boy and Lily Hermoine for a girl."

Draco snorted, "Predictable. I was thinking more James Lucius for a boy and Lily Narcissa for a girl."

"There is no way I am naming my son after your father," said Harry before Draco put another piece of cheese in his mouth.

"Why not?"

Harry swallowed, "He's evil. What about James Sirius?"

"That sounds good I guess. James Sirius for a boy and Lily Remus for a girl."

"Hey!" exclaimed Remus. Then he paused, "Ok, nevermind."

"What about James Evan?" asked Dudley, stretching out like a cat.

"Who's Evan?" asked Draco, again putting cheese in Harry's mouth.

Swallowing once more, "He's another uncle of mine. He lives in America. He works for a music company so he always used to send Dudley and I music. He gave me my first guitar. An acoustic Gibson. I loved that guitar."

"You played it non-stop for three months," laughed Dudley, "Mom cried when he sent you the other one."

"My black B.C. Rich Widow, platinum edition. I cried when I realized he hadn't sent an amp along with it. There I was with the most amazing guitar on the planet and I was unable to play it. He sent you one, too , didn't he?"

"Yeah, but I got pissed one day and ran around using it to smash everything in sight. Good times."

Harry giggled through a mouth full of cheese.

"Were you ever able to get through that last part of November Rain?" asked Dudley.

Harry sighed as he swallowed, a difficult task, "No. I practiced those few bars for hours on end and I could never get it right. Slash is my god. I have no idea how he does it. I finally got Sweet Child of Mine, though. Beautiful song. They were quite possibly the most amazing group of all time."

"Who?" asked Draco, popping yet again, another piece of cheese into Harry's mouth.

"Guns n' Roses," said Remus, "Even I know that one. Sirius adores them. Axl is his all-time hero. He can't get out the last part either, Harry."

"I can't play guitar anymore," said Dudley, "It won't fit in my lap because I'm so freaking huge."

"We could fix that you know," drawled Draco, "There are potions that can turn all of that fat into muscle in minutes."

"They might have side effects though," said Remus, "Since you're a muggle."

"That's fixable, too," Draco chuckled, continuing to stuff Harry full of cheese.

Remus glared at him, "It's also forbidden black magic. That could get you a kiss."

Harry shuttered, "Hey, no speaking of such things around the hormonal knocked-up guy," he muttered. He grabbed Draco's hand as his fingers slid into his mouth. He sucked on them for a moment before releasing them and chewing on the yellow cheese. Then Harry frowned, "Dudley, why were home when they showed up? Shouldn't you be off at school?"

"Yeah... I kind of got expelled."

"Great going, genius," chuckled Harry to which Dudley responded, "Shove off, Potter."

Remus shook his head, "I need a stiff drink."

"Come see me later. I had some brandy and vodka in my trunk. I might have some everclear left, too."

"And how do you have those?" asked Harry skeptically.

"They're in muggle water bottles. All of them are clear so I can easily say I get dehydrated at night and I like to have water on hand. Usually I just get drunk after getting letters from my dad."

"How do you think you're mom will react?"

Draco smirked, "She'll cry, disown me, beg for forgiveness, cry again, and knit the damn thing a bonnet and a matching blanket. That or get a house elf to do it for her. Father has never forgiven you for that thing with Dobby."

"He's got other house elves. Eh, he wanted to kill me before that anyway."

"Everyone wants to kill you,"chuckled Remus.

Licking his lips, Dudley asked, "Why do they want to kill you?"

"He's the Boy Who Lived," said Draco because Harry's mouth was busy consuming cheese, "He's the only person to survive an encounter with "Lord Voldemort" who's this evil wizard that everyone is so afraid of because he's killed so many people. He's pathetic, he has no power left whatsoever, all of his "minions" are complete buffoons, and he looks like a shaved, shrived up mole."

Harry giggled.

"I've been working on a way to get rid of him for good," Draco breathed, a far away glint in his eyes.

Harry frowned, "I thought you were one of his little servant-guy-thingies. The cheese is getting me high..."

"My dad is. I'm not," sighed Draco. Harry giggled.

"Dud, you should've learned to play drums. We would've rocked, my chubby companion."

Dudley sighed, "Yeah. We sing "Cat Like Theif" better than Box Car Racer themselves."

Harry nodded enthusiastically while masticating the cheese in his mouth.

"What was that song you used to sing when you were dusting? Mom absolutely hated it to death and she made sure you never got stuck with dusting because she knew you'd sing it."

Harry suddenly grinned and burst into song, "I come home in the morning light, My mother says when you gonna live your life ri-ight, Oh mommy dear, we're not the fortunate ones. And girls, they wanna have fu-un. Oh, girls just wanna have fuuuuun."

"Please stop now," said Draco, "For the love all that is good and holy, stop right now."

Harry laughed then smiled mirthfully, "We were the best of friends back then. What happened?"

"I realized that if I hated you Mom and Dad bought me whatever I wanted and when I liked you they punished me for the smallest things. It was so easy to hate you," sighed Dudley."

"Ah," giggled Harry.

Dudley shrugged, "Yeah, that and some chick called me a fat, ugly, stupid spoiled brat and she wished that I would crawl into a hole and never come out."

"Ouch," laughed Remus, shoving a chicken leg into his mouth.

"It was a bit of a slap in the face, yes."

Harry suddenly started speaking, "Oh. My. God, Becky, look at her butt. It is so big," Dudley burst out laughing, "Uh. She looks like one of the "rap guys" girlfriends. But, you know, who understands those rap guys? They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute, ok? I mean, her butt, it's just so... big. Uh. I can't it's just so round, it's like there. I mean, uh, gross. Look! She's just so... black!"

"They should be down here," said Snape as he lead the four adults down to the kitchen. It was a long walk considering that Sirius and Lucuius had been bickering constantly since the boys had left the room. The Dursleys had been clinging to each other like the world would end if they parted in the slightest. They were obviously pertubed by the moving pictures, shifting staircases, and unsettled ghosts.

Petunia let out an undignified squawk as Nearly-Headless Nick flew by trying to get his head on straight only to have it fall out of place again as he left their field of vision.

Shaking his head with an agitated sigh, Snape pushed open the kitchen door.

"So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' work out tapes by Fonda, but Fonda ain't gotta motor in the back o' her Honda. My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun! You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt-"

"MR. POTTER!" bellowed Snape. Sirius was biting his lower lip to keep from exploding with laughter as the three other men on the floor were doing. Lucius looked like he was going to throw up while Uncle Vernon rubbed the bridge of his nose and Aunt Petunia buried her face in her hands.

"I see you've been giving him cheese," she muttered.

Dudley frowned, "Why can't Harry have cheese?"

"It enduces hormonal euphoria," said Sirius, "The same thing happened to James. Certain kinds of cheese gave him this major buzz. It was great. Especially that time we bet him 50 galleons that he couldn't sitck out his tongue and touch his forehead."

"Sirius, did you know Harry is a Guns n' Roses fan?" asked Remus as he lifted himself up off of the floor, "He can't get out the last bars of November Rain either."

"Harry plays?" Sirius replied, dumbfounded.

Petunia rolled her eyes, "And he doesn't stop. He played that god forsaken song for 6 straight hours."

"Draco," Harry suddenly breathed sleepily, "Don't let them kill my baby. Make sure they don't try to kill my baby."

Draco nodded, then jumped as Harry suddenly bolted up onto his feet, "Excuse me please," he said and sprinted out of the room.

Remus and Draco pulled Dudley to his feet, needing a little help from Sirius.

"You can't kill the baby," stated Draco in a cool tone. He glared at all of them, sending chills down even Lucius' back, "He's never had a real family before and now he's got one and you're not going to take that away from him. Harry doesn't know that's why he's as protective as he is, but that's the reason, I can assure you."

"You act as though you know more about how his mind works than he does," commented Sirius.

Draco looked at him and blandly said, "I do."  
TO BE CONTINUED

Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	3. Chapter 3

(Notes from fearless leader Meru - Hey dear readers. Sorry I didn't post last week but I was overstuffed with homework and then the next day my grandfather had a sudden heart attack and I've been out of it all week. Now that the funeral/memorial is over, I think I might be able to move on. This is good because it means posting!)

Part 2:

McGonagall wasn't aware that her entire class was asleep as she just continued her lecture, drawing massive graphs and diagrahms on her chalkboard. Harry was one of the few that remained awake, drawing all over his arm with his quill. Thick black tendrils of ink wrapped and entwined themselves around his arms.

Hermoine smacked Ron, causing the redhead to jump up. He cleared his throat and pretended he had been paying attention. He caught a glipse of Harry's arm and chuckled.

"Mr. Weasley, would you mind sharing with the class what it is you find so amusing?"

Ron stared up at her a moment, "I'm sorry, Professor; I was just looking at Harry's arm."

This caused the entire class to turn and bore holes into Harry's arm with their eyes. Harry seemed to transform into a deer caught in headlights. He frowned and ignored them, going back to working on his arm without even waiting for McGonagall to continue speaking.

He began humming while she finished. She concluded her lecture then sighed defeatedly and dismissed them. Harry quickly gathered his things.

"Mr. Potter," she said from behind him, forcing him to turn around and stare at her blankly, "I understand that these are stressful times for you at the moment, but please try to pay attention in my class. I'd hate to see you getting held back a year or expelled because you are currently easily distracted." Harry nodded and apologized then hurried to catch up with Ron and Hermoine.

"Socks again?" asked Ron teasingly. Harry sighed heavily.

"My ankles are so swollen I can't get my shoes on. And my back is killing me because I can't sleep right. I'm afraid of rolling onto my stomach.

Hermoine grinned, "I think it's too small to crush right now, Harry. You can sleep on your stomach if you'd like."

Harry smirked and muttered, "The Dursleys are coming back tonight."

"Ah yes," sighed Ron, "The dreaded dining with the ministry. Any idea who the representative they've sent is?"

"Hello, Ron."

Ron jumped and whirled around to find himself staring at none other than Percy.

"Percy!' Ron exclaimed, "You're the representative? That's great! Harry, you'll get to keep the baby for sure now!"

Percy broke in, "I'm afraid it won't be that easy." He breathed deeply, "The ministry doesn't want you to keep this baby, Harry, and they say if I let you keep it without enough evidence supporting my decision, I'll lose my job and the baby will be sent to social services without any considerations of your next of kin or legal guardians."

Harry gaped. He looked as though the whole world had suddenly come crashing down on top of him. He rubbed his abdomen thoughtfully. The being inside of him had only been there for a week, but he already knew that he would die trying to protect it until the end of his days.

"On the upside, I also need strong evidence in favor of Malfoy if the baby goes to him. I believe the ministry was insinuating that they believe he will attempt to bribe me. I highly doubt that. He's a very respectable member of society, all personal opinions with held. The ministry can be extremely biased."

"Weasley, I don't believe for a moment that you didn't know I was behind you that entire spiel," said Lucius who stood directly behind Percy. The middle Weasley's eyes grew wide and he slowly turned around.

"Mr. Malfoy," he said with pseudo-poise, "Always a pleasure. What is it I can do for you right now?"

"Nothing unless you can get the ministry to authorize elongated time-travel," snorted the senior Malfoy.

Percy nodded, "In that case, would you please excuse me? I simply wished to greet my brother before going to discuss the matters of my visit with Professor Dumbledore." He proceded to leave hastily, obviously intimidated by Lucius' presense.

"At least one Weasley has potential," muttered Lucius before walking away.

Ron frowned deeply, "What did he mean by 'potential'?"

"He wants to fuck your brother," teased Harry. Ron let out an undignified shriek at this and chased after the brunette as he ran away, laughing maniacally.

Hermoine rolled her eyes.

The pile of homework just seemed to grow like a bacterial infection, expanding by mitosis, mutiplying over and over. Harry groaned and buried his face in his text book, eternally greatful that fate had made it so he wasn't studying the Monster Book of Monsters at that moment.

'I can barely handle all of this work right now; how am I going to take care of all of this and the baby at the same time?'

He let out a dry sob and ran his fingers through his messy hair. He hadn't attempted to comb it in three days and wasn't about to start now. It was just showering and sleeping. He didn't have time for anything any more. He was too busy eating, throwing up, or running to the lavs it seemed. The stress just kept piling up on top of him.

"Harry," said Hermoine who had been watching his actions, "You need to relax. It's not good for the baby if you're this tense all of the time."

He sighed. He knew she was right, but he was just so... exhausted. He removed his glasses, setting them down next to his book, and massaged the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He anxiously licked his lips.

"What am I going to do, Moine?" he lamented pitieously, "I'm going to be stuck with this kid for the rest of my life. I'm going to be at home every night making sure its tucked in instead of being out at the movies with my friends or anything like that... My childhood ends as soon as I start showing because as soon as that starts I won't be allowed to leave Hogwarts period."

"Harry," Hermoine started in a soothing voice, but didn't continue. She couldn't summon any soothing words to her mouth. How could she comfort someone going through a trial of this magnitude?

"I'd give anything to go dancing one last time..."

Hermoine frowned, "Dancing?"

Harry nodded, "Over the summer I am able to sneak out and I go to these dance clubs a few blocks away. It's just a way for me to... relax, I guess. I'm always so lonely over the summer and..."

"You don't feel it when you dance?"

"Yeah."

Ron suddenly burst into the common room and grinned at them, "Dinner!"

Harry rose to his feet as quickly as his body would allow and he and Ron sprinted down to the dining hall with Hermoine running after them, shouting for the two of them to wait for her as the boys laughed riotously.

The Dursleys sat uncomfortably, surrounded by all of the young wizards and witches at the Gryffindor table. Seamus was drilling Petunia about everything that came to his mind. He rambled on for what seemed like hours without every stopping to breathe or allow her the chance to tell him to shut up. Dean was smirking the entire time.

Vernon sat stiff, nearly afraid to eat the food, speak, or make eye contact with anyone. Dudley was the complete opposite. He stuffed his face with every bit of food he could get his hands and talked to anyone that would listen. He thoroughly enjoyed himself.

Harry, on the other hand, was so busy eating that he didn't have a chance to carry out a conversation. Several of his fellow Gryffindors watched in awe as he devoured one plate of food after the other. It was oddly... disturbing.

Dumbledore through the announcement routine, introducing the Durselys and telling the students to be courteous to them because they were the first muggles to ever walk through the halls of Hogwarts or something along those lines. It was odd, but everyone seemed very attentative during his little speech. Most of the Slytherins usually ignored their headmaster at these occurences.

After dinner, the Dursleys followed Harry up to the clinic, though Dudley had disappeared with some of Harry's classmates. Vernon and Petunia were worried, but knew there was nothing they could do.

"You're coming along nicely," Madame Pompfrey said later, prodding Harry's abdomen with her cold fingers while Harry sat on an infirmary bed shirtless, "You'll have to start using something on your stomach to give it more elasticity and avoid stretch marks. Some of those muggle moisturizing lotions work wonderfully. Also you'll need to begin stretching out your alimentary canal."

Harry jumped, "My WHAT!"

Pompfrey looked at him, underlying amusement in her eyes, "Your anus. The baby has to come out eventually and that's where it's coming out of. Nearly every male pregnancy in history has resulted in death by bloodloss. The anal muscles tear when something the size of a baby is forced through them. We would remove the baby surgically if it were possible Harry, but that has potential to be worse than the other choice."

"How?" asked Harry, walking over to stand in front of the full-length mirror.

"Well, once we get you open, it's highly probable that we won't get you closed again. That has happened in the past as well. In fact, there are only two successful male-mother births known to this date. One of them is in your bloodline somewhere, but I forget how, so the odds are slightly in your favor. Then again, you are the Boy Who Lived."

"What does that mean?" asked Petunia, slightly miffed.

Pompfrey gaped, "You don't know? Harry's our hero. He's the only one to-"

"Ever survive an attack from Voldemort. Yay rah me," Harry said dryly, sarcastic and surly.

"I see the mood swings have kicked in," murmured Pompfrey, "This is going to be a long two months."

"And this is the greenhouse," said Neville, followed closely by Dudley, "This is where all of the plants are grown and where the Herbology classes take place. Most people don't come here except for class other than me. Professor Sprout is great if you give her a chance, you know. All of the teachers here are pretty nice, minus Snape. They're very helpful... minus Snape."

"What's wrong with Professor Snape?" asked Dudley, stepping away from a plant that kept winking at him with a "come hither" expression.

Neville sighed, "You're never good enough in his class. He just picks on you and he keeps picking like a vulture to carrion."

"You turn into a bloody carcass?"

Laughing, Neville shook his head, "No, that's not it, though it does feel like it sometimes. It's very... disheartening. But he does it to everyone except Slytherins. He hates Gryffindors in general, really. Just... me most of all, I guess."

"Harry was talking about you the other day," Dudley stated, "He said you were the nicest guy in the whole world, but people just kept stomping on you."

Neville nodded, "They do that. You get over it."

"It didn't," chuckled Dudley, "I cried myself to sleep every night."

"Why are you telling me this?" asked Neville, frowning in confusion. Dudley shrugged.

"After this, I'll most likely never see any of you people again. Why not? It's nice to get things off your chest."

Neville nodded at this though he still didn't fully understand, "Come on. Let's go look at the Quidditch field. There's a match tomorrow, you know."

"What's Quidditch?"

"You don't know! It's the best sport ever!"

Draco watched from a distance as the two headed off to the Quidditch field. He frowned. He was extremely bored considering all of the Slytherin had deemed him a traitor for sleeping with the one all of them outwardly hated and most secretly wanted for their own. After thinking for a moment, he shrugged and jogged to catch up with them. It wasn't like he had anything better to do with his time.

Percy Weasley, the Dursleys, Albus Dumbledore, and Lucius Malfoy all sat together in the small conference room. They all looked uncomfortable and weary as Percy quickly wrote down something none of them had any knowledge of on a long scroll.

"Alright," said Percy, setting down his quill next to his parchment, "Let's begin. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, do you have any reason to believe that Harry would be incapable of raising the child without considering his age as a factor?"

Petunia began to speak when Lucius cut her off.

"You know, we could just kill Potter and his damn offspring right now and be done with all of this."

Percy stared at him and blinked then began writing and turned to the Dursleys, "Will you be seeking any financial support from the ministry for Harry's child?"

Lucius vociferously protested, "I didn't know that was going on record! Remove that statement immediatly, Weasley!"

"Any malevolent comments made toward the child or the mother need to be noted and that is Mr. Weasley to you, Mr. Malfoy."

Both Lucius and Dumbledore gaped at the former Head Boy.

"As I was saying, do you have any reason to believe that Harry would abuse the child mentally, physically, sexually, emotionally, or in any other way that I have failed to mention?" continued Percy.

Pertunia shook her head, "He's a... good boy in the long run, I suppose. He's completely useless and a larger burden than he's worth, but I know he would never hurt his own kin."

Nodding, Percy inquired, "Is Harry known for any types of substance abuse?"

Vernon answered, "No. We had him tested every month he was around Dudley since he was six. There's no way he could have."

"Was there any reason you felt Harry needed to be tested?"

"I trust him about as far as I can throw him, the little wart."

Only Lucius heard Percy's whispered, barely audible retort, "Judging by Harry's size from you not feeding him, you must trust him a lot." He cleared his throat, "Has Harry ever expressed irresponsible behavior such as abandoning his duties or acting out of turn with no legitimate explanation?"

Petunia swallowed, "He used to sneak out of the house at night. It started when he was about nine, I believe, and we would lock him in... his room and he would get very upset, throw tantrums, and not speak for several days. It was very relaxing, actually."

"Where did he go?"

"'Dance' clubs, I believe he called them. I've heard them called other things, though. Night spots, raves, 'thump' parties or something of that sort."

The interviews continued for several hours and all were exhausted by their conclusion.

"We're staying the night," explained Dudley to Harry, "Mom and Dad get to stay in a guest room, I believe, and they said I could stay here with you guys."

"Why?" groaned Ron.

Dudley shrugged, "I said I wanted to hang out with Neville and they said it was fine."

Ron gaped at Neville, "And you're ok with this!"

Neville looked insulted, "You know Ron, you can't base your opinions of people on rumors and first appearances. Come on, Dudley. Maybe explaining the potions homework to you will help me understand it along the way."

Ron stared as they went up to the boys' dorms, "Can you believe this?" he asked, turning back to Harry in Hermoine, "It seems as though everyone has gone insane. Neville's befriending your evil cousin, said evil cousin is at Hogwarts in the first place, Harry's been sleeping with Malfoy-"

"SLEPT!" shouted Harry, "I slept with him. Once. Only once. Not even a little more than that! ...Ok, so there was a lot of foreplay, but that's beside the point."

Ron had his fingers in his ears and was screaming, "IAMNOTHEARINGTHIS! IAMNOTHEARINGTHIS! IAMNOTHEARINGTHIS!"

"Drama queens," chortled Hermoine, "Did you guys notice that Draco was walking with Dudley and Neville for a while?"

"Really?" asked Harry, trying to hide his blush. For some reason, it was alright when he talked about Malfoy, but his face seemed to heat up when other people did, "What were thay talking about?"

"Quidditch," she replied, "They were out on the field explaining the game to Dudley. He wants to stay and see the game tomorrow, you know."

"He's becoming enamored with our lifestyle," sing-songed Ron in a strange accent that none of them recognized. They just stared at him quizzically for a moment and shook their heads.

"I knew we'd lose him eventually," sighed Hermoine.

Harry nodded in agreement, "It's all just too much for him."

Ron grabbed a pillow and began beating the both of them with it. They laughed and made half-hazard attempts to defend themselves while laughing. It soon grew into an all-out pillow fight which lasted for several minutes the three of them collapsed to the floor in laughter.

Harry stood in front of the mirror again. He'd just taken his shower and had noticed it as he was wrapping a towel around his waist. He stood sideways, giving himself a profile view of his body. He ran a hand down his stomach. The muscles there were toned and hard. The expanse of flesh was flat, not an inch of flab on them. He silently thanked Quidditch and frowned.

It would all be gone soon. It was in there, growing. It would be big soon, too soon, and his formerly flat abdomen would protrude a foot away from the rest of his body. He wasn't vain in the slightest, but... he didn't want to be fat. He liked his body just the way it was and he didn't want it to change...

"Harry?"

He looked over to see Seamus standing in the doorway with a concerned look on his elfin features, "Is everything alright?"

Harry exhaled, causing his posture to slump in defeat, "As best as can be expected, I guess."

Seamus smiled weakly, "You coming to bed? The light is keeping Dean awake."

Nodding, Harry told Seamus to go on, he'd be finished in a moment. He looked at his stomach one last time then turned away. As he left the bathroom, he turned off the lights.

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Chapter 4

(Note from the queen of the universe: HI! I command you all to review!)

Part 3

There wasn't enough tooth paste in the world to wash the taste of stomach acid from his mouth, but he was trying his hardest anyway. He'd been standing in front of the sink for about fifteen minutes before the others began looking for him.

"Harry?" asked Dean as he entered the lavs, "Are you alright?"

"No. Go away."

Dean walked over to him with a frown chiselled into his face, "Have you been throwing up again?"

Harry merely nodded and continued to scrub his teeth.

"You're going to rub the enamel right off of your teeth."

Harry slammed his toothbrush down on the porcelien sink and glared, "What part of "go away" do you not understand?"

Stepping back, Dean quietly uttered, "I just wanted to help, Harry."

In a split second, Harry's attitude did a complete 180 and he looked like he was on the verge on tears, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Dean. You've all been so wonderful to me and I've treated everyone so horribly. I'm such an awful person; how can you stand to be around me? I don't know why I do this. Why do I treat people this way? What's wrong with me?"

Dean just stared as he leaned forward with his elbows resting on the edge of the sink and buried his face in his hands. He jumped away when Harry abruptly stood up again.

"Sorry about that. What class do we have next?"

"I think if I watch him go through one more episode of mood swings I'll go into a cardiac arrest," mumbled Dean at lunch. Harry, shockingly, was absent. "I can't wait until he has this baby so we won't have to deal with him anymore."

"Then we'll have to deal with a crying baby at every hour of the day," chimed Seamus, causing Dean to groan.

"Will it never end?"

Ron was just staring at his plate with a subdued expression on his face when he suddenly spoke up, "Do you think he's been lying to us?" They cocked their heads at him in confusion, "What if he's been sleeping with Malfoy for months? Years? What if it's not just Malfoy? What if it's tons of guys? What if he's been sleeping with tons of guys we didn't know about during school and over the summer? Harry could be a complete slut and we don't know it..."

The redhead looked up and realized that his friends were all staring at the space behind him. He slowly turned around and swallowed.

"Harry-" he started, but didn't get far enough. Harry ran off before he could finish. He quickly got up to follow, but someone grabbed the sleeve of his robe and stopped him on his way out of the dining hall.

Malfoy glared at him, "I think you've said enough for now. I'll take care of it."

Ron just stood there and watched as the father of his best friend's child walked away. He looked down at the cold stone floor and sighed as his shoulders slumped down in despair. He stopped and began to wonder if Harry was still his best friend or not.

"Stupid Ron," muttered as he sat on the floor next to Moaning Myrtle's toilet. She sat next to him and nodded sympathetically. "Can you believe he called me a slut? I had sex once and that was with Malfoy."

"At least you got the chance to have sex," Myrtle replied, "I died before I ever got the chance. I died as a poor, pathetic virgin."

As Harry began speaking, he did not hear the door open, "You're not pathetic Myrtle. You're not pathetic at all. I'm the pathetic one. I mean, losing my virginity to someone like Malfoy? And then I got pregnant, but... I don't think I would've minded getting pregnant as much if the father was someone else... Someone who loves me, you know?"

Myrtle nodded sadly, "He's a jerk."

"It seems as though the only reason he spoke to me after the potions accident was because he wanted me to name the baby after his parents and to try to get custody for the baby. I felt something when we... you know, but as soon as I left that room it was gone."

Myrtle let out a falsetto gasp, "He used you!"

Harry wiped away a tear that was making its way down his cheek, "You know, they should change my stupid nickname to the Boy Who Lived And Wishes He Hadn't."

"Harry?" he heard someone say quietly and jerked up to see Malfoy slowly opening the door to the stall. Myrtle glared at him.

"What are you doing in the girls' restroom?" she asked snottily.

Malfoy shrugged, "What's he doing in the girls' restroom?"

Standing up leisurely, Harry dusted himself off, "What do you want, Malfoy?"

"I noticed you leaving," he stated, "You looked upset so I followed you."

"You never bothered to pay any notice when I was upset before. Why should you bother now?" Harry quipped.

Malfoy paused and licked his lips, nervously running a thin pale hand through his silver hair, "Things are... different now."

Harry just gave him a cool stare amd walked past him, "Nothing is different."

Seamus looked over as Harry sat down next to him and asked, "Where have you been?"

"I was in the bathroom," he replied.

The benches of the quidditch arena were harder than he remembered seeing as he hadn't been up in the stands in a very long time. He tended not to go to any games, only play in them. The sun was bright and the breeze was soft on his skin. He felt very calm and relaxed, something he hadn't felt in a very long time.

"Where's Dudley?" he asked, realizing the only Seamus, Dean, and Hermoine were with him. They had all decided to sit together earlier that morning despite Ron's protests.

"He's up there with Ron," said Hermoine with a chuckle. Harry looked up at the front of the stand to see the two sitting together, Ron happily explaining the game to his cousin. Harry frowned.

"Oh."

Seamus cocked his head, "Are you alright, Harry? You seem pretty upset. Are you still mad at Ron for today at lunch?"

Shaking his head, Harry replied, "No. I understand his point even though it still hurts."

"Then what's wrong?" asked Dean.

Sighing, Harry closed his eyes and tipped his face up to the sun, feeling bad about distracting his friends from the game, "I just feel so... stretched. I'm ready for this to be over and it's just started. I haven't even begun showing yet and stupid Malfoy really isn't helping... He could help by throwing himself off a cliff, you know. That would be great."

Seamus smiled and giggled, "I highly doubt that, Harry."

They were all silent as they continued watching the game. It was Ravenclaw vs. Hufflepuff so they weren't very close with anyone of either team. This caused them all to cheer whenever a goal was scored... by either team.

"Harry," Hermoine said softly, "When did you start dancing?"

Harry looked at her curiously for a moment and answered, "When Aunt Petunia took away my guitar. She took it away and wouldn't give it back."

She frowned, "How did that lead you to dancing?"

"I started freaking out and having stress attacks. I was taken to a doctor and he suggested some kind of sport or extracurricular activity. Aunt Petunia signed me up for ballet and the kids I met there would meet every Friday night and go dancing. They invited me along one time and I became addicted," he said with a mirthful tone and a small grin on his face.

Hermoine was about to reply when it was announced that the Ravenclaw seeker had cought the snitch. Harry smiled at her then ran off before she could speak.

"Neville, how in the world do you get yourself into these positions?" Percy asked, laughter empatically apparent in his voice as he set down the large stack of papers he'd been carrying and hoped they didn't blow away. Neville just squirmed and tried to get away from the plants that had begun hugging him a few minutes ago and had yet to release him. This had caused him to scream for help and for Percy to run over.

"It's not funnAAAAHHH!" the largest of the plants picked him up several feet off of the ground and turned him upside down, "Percy, GET ME DOWN!"

Trying not to laugh, Percy looked over the plant. He knew several spells that would cause the plant to release Neville, but none that would prevent the boy from falling on his head. He frowned. He watched the vines and leaves move and noticed something that caused his frown to deepen.

"Percy," Neville sid in quiet alarm, "The plant is molesting me."

"I can see that, Neville," the redhead spat. He suddenly pulled out his wand and shouted a spell or something that caused the plant to hurl the small boy at him.

Neville screamed as he flew through the air and crashed into Percy, inertia causing them to roll on the ground for a moment before stopping with Neville burying his face into Percy's shoulder. He slowly lifted his head up.

"Are... are you alright, Percy?" he asked gently. He was above the older boy, practically straddling him.

"Yes," grated out Percy, not opening his eyes, "I am perfectly fine. How are you?"

"Um... I'm alive...?"

"Wonderful."

Percy gradually opened his eyes and stared at Neville. His blond hair was tousled and sloppy, falling into a curtain over his large, watery blue eyes. His moist, petal-pink lips were parted in tiny smile that lit up his face, his smooth, round, pale face. He felt himself slowly returning Neville's smile. It was then that he noticed how close they were, the way their bodies were pressed together.

Both Gryffindors hastily stood up and stepped away from each other. They brushed themselves off and tried not to make eye contact. Both were blushing and stuttering out apologies and thank-yous. They finally stopped and looked at each other then burst out laughing.

"You are not hurt then, Neville?" asked Percy, picking up the stack of papers he had set on the ground upon his arrival.

"I'm fine. I said I was, didn't I?"

Percy nodded, "Very well then. I'll be off. See you around, Neville."

The blond nodded hesitantly, "See you around, Percy."

'This is all such a mess,' Draco mentally bemoaned as he picked at the exorbitant foods on his dinner plate. He sat alone because none of his fellow Slytherins would come near him. They claimed he was a traitor. If they only knew...

He looked up and saw all of them laughing together: Ron, Hermoine, Dudley, Seamus, Dean, Neville, and Harry. Of course that was not how it went in his mind. It went more like: Weasle, Granger, the Fat Muggle, the Irish Twit, the Giant Walking Stick, Longbottom, and his Beautiful One.

Draco would never tell Harry, but the potion he'd been carrying wasn't a regular lust potion. Its properties barely dealed in lust at all. It simply found your most hidden emotion and amplified it until that emotion ruled your entire being. He'd secretly been over joyed to find that Harry had returned his affections, but it didn't matter now as he remembered the conversation he'd over heard in the restroom.

You know, they should change my stupid nickname to the Boy Who Lived And Wishes He Hadn't.

That little sentence had frightened him to no end. He had stood still for several moments, frozen solid with fear. The thought of a world without Harry...

I don't think I would've minded getting pregnant as much if the father was someone else... Someone who loves me, you know?

That had hurt. That had hurt a lot. he'd felt like someone had reached into his chest and ripped out his heart then began stomping on it. He felt like screaming at the top of his lungs, "I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT!" but he would never do that. He was a Malfoy. He had an image, a reputation he needed to uphold. He wondered if Harry wopuld ever realize that was all it was, an image. There was nothing behind it and he was the only thing keeping it up, but the consequences of letting it fall were too great. At least they were at the moment. He would take care of that. There were about to be a lot of changes taking place at Hogwarts...

"What can I do for you, Draco?" Snape asked as his student entered the back room of the potions lab. The room was cold and dark; it was small and the walls were lined with full bookshelves and candles that illuminated the room and gave it an eerie aura.

Draco shrugged and hoisted himself up to sit on the desk Snape was sitting at, "This episode has seriously set us back. I need to start the Milavr potion over again."

Snape sighed and set down his quill next to the parchment he'd been writing on, "It was hard enough getting the ingredients the first time, Draco. This time there can be no 'episodes'. He'll attack when Harry's weak, aka: in labor. This means that you have to be ready when the time comes. There can't be the slightest delay whatsoever."

"I know," grated out Draco.

"I am trusting you, Draco. You can't screw this up."

Draco nodded and smirked, "I know. I won't. Trust me."

TO BE CONTINUED


	5. Chapter 5

(Note from Meru-chan: I'm sorry but I couldn't post last week because the place whose comps I use to update was closed ergo you all had to wait until this week, and for that I apologize. Approximately two weeks until we start the new stuff. I'm hoping we'll be able to keep up.)

Part 4:

"Percy!" shouted Neville, hurrying through the halls to catch up with the tall redhead. He dodged between people, accidentally hitting a few of them and causing them to cry out. He muttered apologies, but didn't stop running. Curfew was in less than an hour and he really had to hurry.

Laughing, Percy asked, "What is it, Neville?" when the small boy had caught up with him.

"I. finished that book you lent me," he replied while breathing heavily, handing Percy the book.

"Wow, that was fast," commented Percy, "You must have really liked it."

'Only because it was from you,' thought Neville, but he would never say anything like that out loud. He blushed and looked down at his feet as Percy tucked the book in with the other things he was carrying. A few days ago they had been talking and Percy mentioned that he was getting into muggle novels and really liked a memoir called Angela's Ashes. Neville had never even heard of a memoir so he asked Percy if he could read it and the redhead had happily lent it to him. He hadn't been able to put it down since.

"So, what was your favorite part?" asked Percy.

"In the beginning," Neville said, "When the baby was getting baptized and she dropped him in the baptismal fount and the Priest said he was a proper Baptist and the father attacked him."

Percy laughed, "I loved that part!"

Neville smiled, "I was just wondering, what is a speakeasy?"

"Oh!" replied Percy, "During the 1920's in America alcohol was illegal so they had secret places you could go to drink and they were called speakeasies."

"That makes a lot of sense now," Neville said, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind his ear. "Do you have any other books with you like that? I really liked it a lot."

Percy shook his head, "Not like that one. I do have other books with me though if you'd be willing to read something different. I don't really know for sure if you would like them or not."

"I'll like them," Neville said, cutting Percy off before he could say anything else, "I'll read whatever you have and I promise I'll like it."

Percy laughed again and Neville was quickly becoming addicted to the sound, "Neville, you don't have to like anything I pick out for you. I'd be perfectly fine if you read one of my books and totally hated it." Neville was at a loss for what to say. "Come up to my room," said Percy, "I'll see what I have for you."

There it was. It was a thin layer of fat, just beneath his skin that hadn't been there before. He could feel it under his fingers and it made him want to cry. He was going to be fat. Not just fat, but huge; he was going to be freakishly gargantuan. He didn't want to be freakishly gargantuan.

He pulled the skin away and let it go. It jiggled just a little bit. Ew. Fat was gross. He really, really didn't want to be fat. Dudley was fat. Dudley was gross, really gross and he couldn't stand being gross. Dudley used to skip showers and would be nasty and greasy and Harry had told himself then that he didn't want to be anything like Dudley and didn't want Dudley to be anything like him.

Dudley was different now, though. He showered. He ate less. He didn't sit on Harry and tickle him until he wet his pants just to laugh at him. No one knew about that. No one was allowed to. He had told Dudley that the first day he had shown up. He also told Dudley he wasn't allowed to leak information about several extremely embarrassing events that took place during their childhood. It took quite some time to explain all of this to him.

Now he was fat. Well, not fat quite yet. The layer of fat wasn't even that thick. It was a barely noticeable in fact, but Harry noticed it. He knew it was there. And he knew it was going to get thicker and thicker and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Harry felt exceedingly small and helpless at that moment.

"Well," said Snape, "This is an interesting development."

"What do you mean 'interesting'?" grumbled Draco, "All I see is a bunch of rotting corpses of rodents in my bed." He had just come back from breakfast to find them there and was none too happy about it.

"You know, felines often give freshly killed animals to their owners as gifts. They want to show them their skill as hunters."

Draco just looked as him with a disgusted looked, "That raccoon has no head. I doubt a cat did that as a way of displaying its hunting abilities. It was from my housemates as a way of displaying what they want to do to me for fucking Potter."

"Language, Draco," said Snape, "And there is no reason to call him 'Potter' in my presence. I know of your affections toward him."

Draco's face dropped, "You know?" he asked, "How do you know? You're not supposed to know! No one is supposed to know!"

"Draco," Snape said drolly, "I think just about everyone except him knows by now. It's obvious in the way you stare at him and follow him around."

"He doesn't notice," said Draco, suddenly sounding very withdrawn and depressed, "He hates me. He said he wouldn't have minded being pregnant if the father were someone else. Someone that isn't me."

Snape sighed heavily, "Draco, the boy is a complete idiot and probably very emotional right now. Stop worrying about all of this, ok? I'm going to talk to the headmaster about getting you a different room assignment. For now, take whatever you need from here and don't return without me. Alright?"

Draco just nodded, grabbed a few things from his trunk, and followed Snape out of the Slytherin dormitory.

"Have you noticed the way Malfoy looks at Harry?" said Seamus suddenly. They were all staring at the ceiling, lying on the floor of their dorm. They meaning Seamus, Dean, Ron, and Dudley of course.

"How does Malfoy look at Harry?" asked Dean.

"Like he wants to knock him up all over again," Dudley replied. They all made a grumbling noise of acknowledgement and were silent again.

The room was still. None of them were doing anything because there was nothing to do. Homework was done. Quidditch was overdone. Everything just seemed very boring for no apparent reason.

"Have you noticed the way Hermione and Harry have been hanging out together a lot?" Seamus attempted to start yet another conversation.

"Yep," said Dudley.

"Sure," said Dean.

Ron remained silent.

"Have you noticed the way Malfoy is always hanging out in the potions lab really late at night?"

"Not really," said Dudley.

"Don't care that much," said Dean.

Ron remained silent once more.

"Have you noticed the way Neville watches Percy?"

"What!" asked Ron and sat up to stare at Seamus.

"Yeah, I have," mumbled Dudley.

Dean nodded as best as he could with the back of his head pressed against the floor, "He wants him pretty bad. He always has. Don't remember how he would always follow Percy around when he was still at school?"

"What's up with that?" muttered Seamus, "I mean, he's Percy. What on earth does Neville see in him?"

"He's smart, I guess," said Dean, "But I think that's his only good point that I can think of."

"Hey," Ron said suddenly, "Have you noticed the way shut the fuck up?"

They were silent for a moment, realizing how their conversation might have been affecting Ron.

"Ron," said Seamus softly, "That sentence made absolutely no sense whatsoever."

They all burst into laughter and giggles. It was sad what became amusing when you were completely bored beyond all sense of reason.

Madam Pomfrey's hands were cold as they pressed against his stomach. He really hated this, the way she poked and prodded in all of these different places. Did this really have a purpose? Was there any way for her to not do this to him and still achieve whatever objective she had in doing this?

"Are you almost finished?" he whined. She sighed heavily and stepped away from him, removing her cold hands from his skin.

"The baby seems to be growing fine, but I'll tell you now that I don't think you're ready for it."

Harry looked up at her with a worried expression as he pulled his shirt back down over his stomach.

Madam Pomfrey sighed once more, "You're too young to have this baby, Harry. You're not mature enough to take care of a child, let alone your own all by yourself."

"It doesn't matter," said Harry, "It's here and it's not going away. I'll probably go stay at the Weasley's. I know they'll help me take care of it, but I hate to be a burden on them. I have enough money, though. I could just buy a house somewhere and I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

"Babies are a lot of work, Harry. I can't help but worry about you."

"Don't," he said shortly and jumped off of the table. He walked over to the door where Hermione was waiting for him outside. And he left.

Lunch had just ended and Harry was off to study in the library, Hermione had gone to see a teacher about extra-credit work, and Neville was sitting on his bed in the dormitory reading the book Percy had lent to him as the other four occupants of the room entered.

"This sucks!" shouted Seamus, "We have nothing to do! What a waste man! A whole weekend was spent sitting on the floor staring at the ceiling. And we have classes tomorrow. I don't want to go to classes tomorrow!"

"Seamus," yelled Neville, "Will you shut up? I'm trying to read."

With that, Seamus ran over and threw himself onto Neville's bed. He snatched the book away from Neville and began reading the book aloud, "Never had I felt this, never had I experienced it, this yielding of a conscious mortal. But before I could push him away for his own sake, I saw the bluish bruise on his tender neck. He was offering it to me. He was pressing the length of his body against me now, and I felt the hard strength of his sex beneath his clothes pressing against my leg. A wretched gasp escaped my cold lips, but he bent close, his lips on what must have been so cold, so lifeless for him; and I sank my teeth into his skin, my body rigid, that hard sex driving against me, and I lifted him in passion off the floor," Seamus stopped reading and gave Neville an odd look, "What the hell is this?"

"It's Interview with the Vampire, isn't it?" asked Dudley, "By Anne Rice?"

"Yeah," said Neville, "Percy lent it to me."

Seamus burst into laughter, "Percy reads stuff like this? Ron, you never told us your brother was a closet pervert."

Dudley sat down on the bed with Neville, "You've gotten pretty far. How long have you been reading it?"

"Percy gave it to me last night," Neville replied.

"Wow. It took me like two weeks to get that far, but I read really slowly. Harry read it so I decided to a while back over the summer. He really just wanted to read it before he saw the movie. He had a thing for Brad Pitt. Have you gotten to the part where Claudia dies yet?"

"Claudia dies!" Neville shouted with wide eyes.

Dudley looked sheepish, "Sorry. Guess I kind of gave it away, didn't I? Well, you'll get over it soon. You get sick of her pretty fast. You should read The Vampire Lestat. He's like all over his mom. It's funny. There's also The Vampire Armand and The Queen of the Damned. I'm pretty sure there are a few others, too. Harry really liked Anne Rice for a while.

"Wait, wait," said Neville, "How does Claudia die? She's a vampire!"

"The other vampires know she killed Lestat, even though Lestat isn't actually dead, and the only crime you can commit as a vampire is to kill another vampire so they lock her and the other chick in this thing and force them to be exposed to the sun. You should see the movie. It's really good."

"Lestat isn't dead!"

"Wait, show me that part again," said Harry. He'd been so out of it recently that Hermione had to help him catch up. He was totally lost on everything.

Hermione said, "Harry, this is the third time I've repeated this." She repeated the movement of her hand that they had learned in transfiguration two days ago while Harry had been pleasantly napping.

Trying it out, the charm to summon a carpenter dwarf once more, Harry received his third bowl of ramen noodles. He sighed heavily, "It isn't working, 'Mione. Whatever I try comes out as a bowl of ramen noodles. I think I'll just give it up for today."

"What's bothering you, Harry?"

He stared at her for a moment.

"I mean other than the obvious!" she exclaimed. Sighing heavily, she transformed a piece of paper into a spoon and handed it to Harry.

"I just feel so. trapped," said Harry as he spun the spoon to catch some noodles and shoveled them into his waiting mouth. He quickly chewed and swallowed, "There are so many things that I love to do that I won't get to do anymore because I'll be busy with the baby. Pretty soon I won't even be able to leave the school because I'll be showing."

"Harry." Hermione said sympathetically, but Harry cut her off before she could say any more.

"It doesn't matter, though. It was my own fault. I have to deal with the consequences of my actions, right?"

Hermione didn't want to take that answer, "Harry, maybe if-"

"I'd like to be alone right now, if you don't mind, Hermione," his voice was calm, but melancholy as he spoke. She knew he probably shouldn't be left alone; however, she also knew that if she stayed Harry would leave. It was better to know where he was than have him running off to who knows where. He was on a strange emotional roller coaster, worse than Hermione had ever seen with anyone, and knew to keep an eye on him.

"See you at dinner then," she said and gathered her books. Harry didn't even look up from his bowl as she left.

He didn't want to eat, but he knew he had to. Anorexia was not an option. That would not only hurt the baby, it might kill it. He felt so lost. He didn't know what to do. Would he stay with the Dursleys? No, they would never take him in. Sirius was still a wanted criminal since Peter hadn't been found yet. Burying his face in his palms with the spoon still in his mouth, Harry fought back tears. All of this was so. frustrating. He'd give almost anything for all of this to just work out by itself.

"Mind if I sit?"

Harry looked up when he heard Draco's voice and saw the blonde standing by the chair Hermione had previously occupied. He frowned.

"Yes, I mind very much in fact," he replied, "Please leave. Feel free to let the door hit your ass on your way out."

Draco just sat down, "You act as though you believe I actually expected an answer."

"What the hell do you want, Malfoy?" Harry groaned, his speech garbled by the spoon in his mouth.

Draco simply shrugged, "Saw you sitting here looking all broody and depressed so I decided to come over and piss you off."

"Why?"

"It's better to be pissed off than broody and depressed."

Harry didn't understand that logic at all, but knew that if he told Draco that they'd end up getting into a huge argument and Harry would just end up more emotionally drained than before, if that were even humanly possible that is.

"Don't you have some little Slytherin friends to go do evil things with or something?" asked Harry, not expecting the sad expression that warped Draco's face as he looked down at the table top. "What's with that look?"

Draco looked up in surprise, any trace of sadness hidden by a sheet of ice, "What look?"

Harry frowned and took the spoon out of his mouth, sticking it into the half-empty bowl of noodles, "That look you got on your face when I asked if you had any little Slytherin friends to go do evil things with. It was all sad. It was the most emotion I've ever seen on your face. Well, other than. yeah."

"Not that it is any of your business," spat Draco. His voice was haughty and arrogant, "But my housemates have put me into a state of exile. None of them speak to me and they seem to find enjoyment in putting mutilated animals in my personal belongings. I'm somewhat depressed because Professor Snape said that I was not to retaliate."

"Bullshit," said Harry, "You're lonely. Nobody will talk to you other than the teachers and it's hurting you. Admit it!"

Draco grunted, "Sod off, Potter."

"You sod off," Harry replied, "I was here first."

Snorting, Draco laughed, "That was the most childish thing I've ever heard you say!"

This caused Harry to pout, "I can't be mature all of the time, can I? Well, I'll have to in a few weeks."

Both were silent. It was so depressing for both of them that it seemed like their days of carefree studies and joking with friends and lacking in any real responsibilities were going to be over soon.

"Harry?" Draco said softly. Harry looked at him, slightly surprised to hear Draco use his first name, "Do you think we could have. joint custody of the baby? I mean, like, raise it together?"

They both just stared into each other's eyes for a few moments. The room was next to silent, filled only with the soft sounds of a few other students reading, studying, and doing other things that people generally did in libraries. It was soft at first, the tiny bit of laughter that exited Harry's lips. It grew into a small giggle that escalated into all- out laughter. It was bombastic and bubbly and Draco wasn't sure whether to feel offended of join Harry in his outrageous display of amusement.

Madam Pince came over and forced them out of the library with Harry nearly falling over with laughter the whole time. They stood outside the door, Harry holding his sides and Draco holding Harry's things.

"Please tell me you weren't serious," guffawed Harry, who then fell over and narrowly avoided cracking him head open on the stone floors.

Draco watched as he laughed then dropped Harry's things and turned to leave. Harry quickly stood up and grabbed his sleeve.

"You were serious?" Harry asked with evident confusion.

"I know it's your kid and all," Draco said angrily, staring down at the ground and refusing to look up at Harry, "I understand that you're all psycho-protective because you've never had a real family or anything. I get all of that. It's just that." Draco paused and swallowed, slowly raising his vision to meet Harry's eyes, "I've never had that great of a family either and. it's kind of my kid too, you know?"

Harry was startled, having no idea that Draco had ever even thought of the child as his, let alone considered it part of his family. He looked down at his things in disarray on the floor and blinked a few times, "Can we discuss this later?" He asked calmly, "After dinner? I'm starving."

"You ate three bowls of the noodle-things!" Draco exclaimed, "How on earth are you still hungry!"

"Harry's been really depressed," murmured Dean. They were once again sitting on the floor, in the common room this time, and Neville and Hermione had joined their ranks.

"Yeah." sighed the other five in unison.

"We could try to cheer him up," suggested Seamus.

Ron looked at him questioningly, "How?"

"A Chippendale would be nice," muttered Hermione. They all gave her strange looks, to which she responded with, "What?"

They all looked back to their respective places of pointless staring: the floor, the ceiling, a spot on the wall, and hole in the couch, etc.

Then Dudley spoke up, "Maybe we could do something. kind of like that."

Seamus grinned, "We're going to get Harry a male stripper?"

Dudley shook his head, "Think about this. One of the reasons Harry is so depressed is because he won't be able to do a lot of things he likes to do for a really long time, if he ever gets to do them again."

". So?" asked Dean.

Neville looked at Dudley, "So we could see if we could do some of the things he won't be able to do for a long time right now."

"Yes!" Dudley replied.

"We'll make a list," said Hermione, "Of things Harry likes to do. Dudley, you probably know the most on this one since you are with him over the summer. We'd better get started now or we never will."

They all got in closer around the circle as Neville pulled out a scroll and Seamus handed him a pen and they started the beginnings of what would later be called "Operation: Cheer Up Harry." Why they called it this, only Dudley knew, but he insisted they all did it so they just went with it.

Dinner had been a somewhat lonely affair for Harry seeing as none of his friends made an appearance. He sat with Ginny and Collin, but they weren't the same as his friends. They were far too. sane. He almost welcomed Percy's presence when he showed up near the end of the meal and grabbed some of the leftovers- not that there was a lot what with Harry devouring half of the table and all. They had a discussion over why Snape needed to change whatever hygiene products he used on his hair because they obviously weren't doing him any good.

The meal ended and Percy happily walked with Harry up to the Gryffindor common room where they found Harry's friends huddled together on the floor. Neville was the first to notice them walking over and squeaked. All looked up and pushed something toward Hermione who grabbed it and sprinted to the girls' dormitory.

Harry frowned, "What's going on?"

"You're not allowed to know," said Seamus.

"Why?"

"Only club members are allowed to know," Dean put in quickly before Seamus could say anything else.

Harry's frown deepened and a slight pout was added in, "What club?"

All were silent until Neville said, "The Lonely Virgins Club. Sorry Harry. Virgins only."

Again, all were silent. Their eyes shifted between each other and they fidgeted uncomfortably until Seamus, "Guys, I'm afraid I'm going to have to quit the club. C'mon Harry. Let's leave these pathetic virgins to their geeky little club."

"Seamus," Harry said as the Irish boy dragged him off, "They're my friends. I don't think they're pathetic. They're your friends, too."

Anything Harry said after that was muffled by the large distance between the group and the boys' dormitory. None spoke until Hermione came back down with a satisfied grin. Percy looked curious and sat down.

"I'm technically a virgin so tell me what's going on."

"Technically?" asked Ron.

Percy glared at him, "The technicality is none of your business. Shut up and tell me what the hell is going on."

"Please," begged Harry, "I wanna know! C'mon! Tell me!"

"Bloody Hell, give it up!" shouted Seamus, spraying toothpaste all over the mirror. Dean snickered.

Harry was once more staring at his reflection in the mirror. He had been doing that way too much recently and his roommates were beginning to get very sick of it. He had just taken a shower and he skin was covered in glistening droplets and his hair looked as black and charcoal and was plastered to his head. His eyes looked brighter than usual because his skin was slightly flushed from the heat of the water. A thick red towel was the only thing covering his nude body.

"Would you stop looking at yourself?" Seamus yelled after spitting the toothpaste into the sink, "You're still the sexiest thing on two legs in this school so get over it!"

Harry just poked at the thin layer of fat.

Neville poked his head into the bathroom, "Guys, Dumbledore is here. He says he has something really important to tell us."

The three exited the bathroom and found Dumbledore waiting for them with a strained smile on his aged face.

"I understand that all of you are having a rough time due to recent occurrences," he started, which could only mean bad news, "And unfortunately you are not the only ones having trouble adjusting. Due to a few incidents in the Slytherin house, one of them will need to room with you. This will be a temporary arrangement until something more satisfactory comes along," Harry already knew what was going to happen and held his breath.

"He will be your personal assistant, Harry," continued Dumbledore, "To aid you during your pregnancy." He snapped his fingers and the room warped so it was slightly bigger and held seven beds instead of the previous six.

He stepped aside and there with Severus Snape at his side stood Draco Malfoy. Any protests from the other boys were drowned out by Ron's echoing cry of "Oh, FUCK NO!"

TO BE CONTINUED


	6. Chapter 6

(Step author's plea for forgiveness: GOMEN! SORRY! SLICHAH! SIENTO! I'm SOOOO sorry this took so long to post. The computer I tried to use to post this wouldn't work with floppies so I was at a loss for a while. PLEASE FORGIVE ME! Well, I believe this is the last chapter before our writing group starts. Panics My chapter is the second new one TT and I haven't started writing it yet...)

Part 5:

It had taken a while to get Ron calmed down and even then he just sat on his bed, breathing heavily until he finally fell asleep. Everyone else had been sleeping for at least an hour by that time, minus Harry who hadn't been able to sleep very well for several nights.

"Harry?" he heard from across the room in a hushed, barely audible whisper. He made a soft noise of acknowledgement. Draco popped his head in through the curtains, "Can I talk to you?"

"Has 'no' ever stopped you before?" was Harry's dry reply. Draco shrugged and crawled onto the bed.

"We never got a chance to talk about the custody issue after dinner. I had a meeting with Snape and you were talking to Weasley," Draco said in a sad attempt to explain his motivation in sneaking to Harry's bed in the middle of the night.

Harry just shrugged, not caring about what Draco had to say. He just wanted to sleep even though he didn't know how he was going to achieve this. He sighed, "Malfoy, I'm thoroughly exhausted and I really just don't care right now. I think it's getting close to 2 a.m. and I cannot for the life of me get to sleep. I'm afraid of using any sleeping potions or charms because they could hurt the baby and nothing else will work. Unless you have some method of relieving my fatigue, I suggest you go back to your own bed before I get annoyed and make it so you can never have another child ever again."

"Oooooh, you got dogged," a voice whispered from across the room.

"Shut up, Seamus," came a hiss from the direction of Dean's bed.

Harry let out an exasperated groan, "Who all is awake?"

"I think it's just me and Dean," Seamus said who had walked over and crawled into the bed with Harry, but he got under the covers when Malfoy didn't. Dean quickly joined them.

"I'm awake, too," they heard Neville say.

"Doesn't anyone sleep in these dorms?" Draco wondered aloud. Dean, Seamus, Harry and Neville all replied in unison, "No."

"Are you still reading that porno-book that Percy gave you, Neville?" Seamus asked when the small blonde boy joined them on the bed.

"It's not a porno-book!" Neville hissed quietly so as not to wake Ron or Dudley. He turned to Harry and said, "They're making fun of me for reading Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice."

"I love that book!" Harry exclaimed softly, "I've read it like five times! You want a porno book, Seamus, read Naked Lunch."

Draco watched as the four Gryffindor continued laughing and joking well into the night before they all drifted to sleep in the same bed. He frowned, realizing he had achieved nothing in venturing to Harry's bed and returned to his own. Nothing seemed to affect Harry when Draco tried to have civilized conversation with him. It was as though they were doomed to end up fighting whenever they spoke.

"Man this sucks!" shouted Seamus as he paced around the dorm room. Dean was sprawled on his bed with his head hanging off the side he got a funny head-rush when he sat up. Ron was in the corner growling, rocking back and forth while hugging his knees. He had finally stopped muttering things about hemlock, arsenic, and daggers at night a few minutes ago. Neville was on his bed reading and ignoring everyone else. Dudley, Harry and Malfoy were all at a meeting so it was just the four of them. Seamus really had nothing better to do than gripe.

"Yes, well, we'll just have to deal with this, won't we Seamus?" sighed Dean, sitting up, swaying for a moment, and lying down again.

"Don't you think it was a bit predictable? Perhaps the author is losing her touch."

"Did you say something, Neville?" asked Seamus from his bed where he was writing on his arm with a quill. Neville looked up from his book, "Huh, what? No, I didn't say anything."

"This is all a part of Malfoy's plot!" Ron suddenly shouted, standing up, "He seduced Harry so the baby-thing would work then impregnated Harry so they would have a reason to be near each other. It also got his housemates to turn against him and he got moved into our dorm. Don't you see what all of this leads up to!"

No one spoke for a moment and just stared at him, except of course for Neville who was pretending to read his book while he giggled and murmured things about Seamus being inhumanly gullible.

It was finally Seamus who guessed at what Ron was implying, "He's going to take pictures of us jerking off in the shower and use them as blackmail?"

All stares then turned to Seamus, but they were less stares and more gawking looks of astonishment over the true amount of idiocy and perversion it took to concoct a response such as that.

"No!" Ron shouted, "He's going to try and kill Harry in his sleep and more than likely the rest of us as well!"

"Actually," said Neville as he marked his place in his book and set it on the floor, "Apparently he's here because the other Slytherins have shunned him. That's what Harry said last night anyway. We kept talking after you fools fell asleep and Malfoy left. It's very dangerous for Malfoy around the other Slytherins right now because they believe him to be a traitor."

"Neville, that makes no sense," Ron said, rolling his eyes, "Why would they think Malfoy is a traitor?"

Neville snorted, "You are completely blind, Ron. Malfoy cares about the baby, and Harry for that matter, and he is more than willing to defy You-Know-Who to protect them. It's bloody obvious."

"It is _not_ obvious!"

"He respects his father more than anyone and he denied his father to protect Harry."

Ron frowned, "How do you know?"

Rolling his eyes, Neville replied, "I work in the gardens with the Ligneous Chrysanthemums. They know everything there is to know about Hogwarts gossip. Apparently Lucius wanted to have the baby 'taken care of' and Draco freaked out and said that if anything happened to the baby, he would never speak to him again."

"I doubt that a bunch of flowers would know all of that, Neville," Seamus said, reminding Ron and Neville of his presence.

"Gosh, maybe you're right, Seamus. I should ask someone else to double check. What do you think of Terry Boot?"

Seamus face immediately glowed red and he hurried out of the dormitory. Neville allowed himself a small, self-satisfied smirk. That was probably the second or third time he had ever stood up for himself to his housemates.

Ron frowned, "Why did Seamus freak when you mentioned Terry Boot?"

"Ask the chrysanthemums."

(Switch had typed in this section that this was the last chapter she was going to write -switch is a she, righ?- anyway, from here on in THE CHAPTERS WILL ALL BE NEW! Don't be confused becase it said at the bottom that this was the last chapter. It didn't occur to me to delete that ;; Sorry guys, but I'm still alive and strong)


	7. Chapter 7

Note from Meru: This chapter is by my dear friend Nimeneth. She worked very hard to write it so you better work VERY hard to enjoy it! This chapter saved my life because Eneth did a great job with the comedy! The password to Gryffindor tower is my new best friend.

Author of the day-Eneth: Hey guys, I finished my chapter of Vicarious Life this evening. It turned out really weird, you have been warned. You'll probably make me write it again. But that's okay. shrugs Here it is!

---

Later, everyone sitting in the Gryffindor dorm stared at Seamus as he entered the room. Rather, Ron and Dean stared. Neville was still engrossed in his book. Seamus slowly walked to his bed and took off his shoes and socks before sitting down. Dean and Ron instantly joined him.

"Terry Boot," Ron said simply. "What was that about him?"

"It's nothing," Seamus replied.

"The chrysanthemums didn't seem to think so," Neville put in from his bed. He slipped a bookmark into his book and moved across the room to the other Gryffindor's bed. Seamus shot Neville a glare.

"Fine, it's something, but it's none of your business!" Seamus snapped. Dean laughed.

"Of course it's not," he said, "but we wouldn't be asking otherwise."

"Bugger off." Dean laughed again.

"What do you think of Terry Boot?" Neville asked again. Seamus again turned a stunning shade of red and muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" Ron asked, leaning forward towards Seamus.

"Fine!" Seamus shouted. "Ikindalikehim."

"What?" Dean asked.

"You heard me, I kinda like him!" Seamus shouted, his face still a nice shade of crimson. The dorm fell silent for a short moment. Suddenly, Dean pounded Seamus on the back as he and Ron fell around laughing. Neville gave a small smile.

Draco sat down at the edge of the lake, ignoring the Slytherins gathered nearby. This. Was. Murder. He couldn't stand it! His former housemates didn't know a thing about him. Just because he was the father of Potter's baby didn't mean he was a traitor. It just meant that…. Draco stopped that train of thought from going further. Of course it made him a traitor. He'd had sex with a Gryffindor.

Just then, a small object came sailing over his head and landed next to him. Draco spared it one glance and looked away, disgusted. Oh yes, his housemates really appreciated him. Without even a glance to the rest of the students, Draco got up and moved around the lake, until he was alone. He sat down again.

'When is this harassment going to end?' Draco asked himself. He snorted softly. 'When? Never.' And it wasn't just when he was alone: Potions, once his favorite class, was becoming like torture. His former housemates shunned him, and they kept messing up his potions, causing terrible accidents that Draco always attributed to Longbottom's low intelligence. He groaned softly. Snape could do nothing about it, either.

He spotted a flower at his side and plucked it from the ground, angrily tearing off the petals.

'This is all Potter's fault!' a little voice in his head screamed.

'It's not, you fool!' It's your own fault! another yelled back.

A third side butted in. 'Will you all just shut up!' Draco's mind fell into silence.

Finally: 'Poor bloke.'

"Gyah!" Draco yelled, throwing the flower off to one side. "Everything's bad enough without beating myself up! Calm down, Draco, you still have a reputation to uphold. Prince of Cool."

'Yeah, right,' one of the little voices in his head snorted at him. The other two laughed at him. Draco closed his eyes in defeat. Those annoying little voices wouldn't leave him alone. He supposed it was just as well. Without them he'd have no one to talk to. His eyes shot open. Little voices in his head meant he was crazy. "GYAH! I AM NOT CRAZY!"

'Sure you're not,' one of the other voices said to him.

"I need to be rid of these annoyances," he muttered under his breath. "Get a grip, Malfoy." He took a few deep breaths to steady himself. Now where was he? Ah yes.

Snape. Snape couldn't help him. Snape had moved him to the Gryffindor dorm, where he was just as much as an outcast as he was in his own house. Snape didn't understand. Snape never understood. In fact, it was all Snape's fault! If it hadn't been for Snape, he wouldn't have been interested in Potions, and that wouldn't have led him to create the potion that had started this mess! Yes, that was the answer! No more trusting Snape!

'You realize that you're using Snape as a scapegoat,' one of the little voices told him. 'It's not his fault, you know.'

"It's always his fault," Draco muttered to himself. The little voices sighed and held a meeting in his head. Finally, they came to a consensus and started packing their bags. "What are you three up to?"

'Leaving,' one of the little voices informed him. 'You're such a Drama Queen.'

"I am not!" Draco said indignantly. But the little voices were gone. "Good riddance, too," he muttered. Getting to his feet, he brushed his robes off and started a leisurely walk around the lake, ignoring the stares that he got. Let them stare, he thought. Let them see that I don't care that I've been shunned by my idiot housemates. Let them talk! It doesn't bother me, I thrive on attention. He thrived off the attention.

Once he got out of sight, his shoulders slumped. Except the one person I want to notice me hates my guts. My life sucks, he thought, frowning. Although I did get him pregnant… Pregnant. That meant a baby. And it couldn't be nameless. He'd have to talk to Harry about names. If he could find the Gryffindor boy. Just then, Harry walked around the corner.

"Harry!" Draco called, glad that he wouldn't have to seek the Gryffindor out. "I have to talk to you."

"Go away, Malfoy," Harry ground out in return. "I don't have to talk to you." Draco ignored the comment and hurried to catch up to Harry as he turned the corner again.

"It's about the baby. We should think of a name for it," Draco said. Harry stopped abruptly.

"We?" Harry asked quietly. Draco nodded. "This is not 'our' baby. This is my baby. Now go knock up someone else and bug them about baby names!" Harry stalked off, leaving Draco standing where he was, staring after him.

"That didn't go exactly as planned," Draco said with a sigh. Rolling his eyes, he entered Hogwarts and moved slowly towards the Gryffindor common room, sullen. Harry had just brushed him aside like he was a child. Or an unwanted tag-along, Draco corrected. He sighed. That's all I am. A tag-along that nobody cares about. His thoughts got steadily darker as he traversed the corridors towards the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Password?" she asked as Draco came around the corner. Well, at least the Fat Lady recognized that he would be living in the Gryffindor dorms for a while. She, of course, had voiced her opinion about him already.

"Oscar Meyer," Draco said. The Fat Lady swung open and he climbed through. Crossing the Common Room, he ascended the stairs leading to the dorm that he was sharing with the Gryffindors in his year and Harry's fat cousin. He opened the door and stopped dead. And stared.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Ron snapped from Seamus's bed. The Gryffindors were looking at him. Finally, Draco found voice to his thoughts.

"I hope you know that you are, by definition, having an orgy," Draco said with a sneer. "I never would have thought that Gryffindors would be interested in that sort of thing. But of course, I should have guessed."

"What do you mean?" Neville asked.

"This is what a dictionary is used for," Draco said. "Although I would imagine that you wouldn't know how to use one after being whacked in the head by a few in your childhood."

"Sod off, Malfoy," Ron snapped at Draco. With a shrug, the blond boy left.

"What is he talking about, an orgy?" Seamus said as soon as the door closed.

"I couldn't tell you," Dean replied.

"I need peace…" Draco muttered to himself as he yet again traversed the halls of Hogwarts. Without really realizing where he was, his feet led him to the library. He stared at the stacks of books for a moment.

With a sigh, he entered the library with a short nod to Madame Pince. 'Since I'm here, he thought, I might as well do something useful. Research on potions ingredients.'

But what for? Draco asked himself. I already have all the ingredients for the Milavr potion, all that matters is putting them together, correctly and swiftly. With another uncharacteristic sigh, Draco let his feet lead him as they would. He was surprised when he found himself standing before a shelf of books upon books of baby names. Without much thought, he reached for one of the books and sat down on the ground, perusing the names.

"Adish? No, too strange. Alan. No, plain. Amiri? That might work…" Draco muttered to himself. "Maemi is interesting. Makya, too. Tadeo? That's a nice name… Oh, but what if the baby is a girl? Brazil is a country, that won't do… Jalila, that's pretty. Ofira might do… but what about Odell?" This searching for names continued for some time, until Draco had filled up the parchment he had summoned.

"Mr. Malfoy, it's close to curfew. I highly suggest that you get back to your common room," Madame Pince said, coming down the aisle towards Draco. Draco nodded curtly to her and stored the parchment and quill in his robes. Rising, he started through the corridors until he once again reached the Fat Lady. Giving her the password, he entered and climbed the stairs to the dorm he slept in. Without so much as a glance at the Gryffindor boys, he climbed onto his bed and shut the curtains. The room fell into silence.

"How could he think we were having an orgy?" Ron asked after a while.

"The definition is four or more people on a bed without socks," Dean said. Seamus grunted from his bed. "And if you care to notice, that was us when he walked in."

"But…"

"Shut up," Harry grumbled in the dark. He could be heard shifting on his bed. The room quieted. Then:

"Harry?" Ron asked.

"What?" Harry replied.

"Are you alright?"

"Just ducky. Now shut up." Draco snorted. He would never get used to living with these people. They were just too strange.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note by Princess-Meru: I wrote this story, and it be honest, I got SLIGHTLY lazy. I couldn't fit in everything I wanted and I really didn't know what to write. Our final author will be writing the next chapter and she seems to have a gift for these things. Look forward to that. I'm just… a pitiful appetizer.

----

Draco tried to ignore Ron and Neville as he curled around his new book  
in the Gryffindor common room. It was one that Snape had sent him as a  
sarcastic gift. He would have been more angry at his professor save for  
the fact that the book might prove useful.

"Whatcha reading?" Ron eyed Draco suspiciously. Ron had become used to  
the blond, accepting him to the point of causal acquaintance.

Draco glared at the redhead, "You don't want to know."

Neville looked up from his latest fiction novel, "What's so bad about  
it?"

"Is it erotica?" Ron allowed a smirk to play at his lips. What was with these Gryffindors and porn?

"EW NO!" Draco exclaimed, "Its just..." he inhaled deeply and then said  
with as much confidence as he could muster, "It's called 'Taming the  
Lion: How to Woo a Gryffindor.'" Draco waited for someone to say  
something, but all the boys were staring at him in disbelief. He knew it  
was a bad idea to read it in a room that had red and gold on every bit  
of decor.

"You... have got to be kidding me," Ron finally said, "I didn't know you  
wanted him that much."

Draco just shrugged. He didn't know what to do anymore. He wanted to be  
able to form a relationship with Harry, make sure the baby wasn't alone,  
but he didn't know how to do it. He had already tried getting to the  
ebony haired boy through the child, suggesting planning a nursery or  
picking out baby names or going shopping for baby clothes, but none of  
it seemed to work.

"You're thinking too shallow," Neville said matter-of-factly, "You need  
to think about how Harry feels."

"Don't judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes," Ron nodded.

Draco just snorted, "Then when you do you're a mile away and you have  
their shoes."  
"Always a Malfoy," Neville shook his head. "But seriously, you should  
take him out on a date!"

"Yeah, right." Draco hadn't exactly dismissed the idea, but chances are Harry would not be so likely to give in. The last time he had tried to talk to the boy, he had given him the cold shoulder.

"Seriously!" Ron persisted.

"He'll say no," Draco whined.

Ron snorted, "That didn't stop you from knocking him up."

Draco opened his mouth to protest but Ron slapped a hand over the blond's mouth. "MMMPH!" Ron glared at the blond for a minute. "If you swear," he said slowly, "Not to get him pregnant twice, I'll set you up."

"RON!" Neville slammed his book down.

"I'll tell him I wanna hang with him at some place at Hogsmeade and you just have to show up in my place. " Draco averted his eyes, knowing full well that it would be useless to try to talk with the redheads massive paws covering him. "Just know," Ron started speeding up in his speech, "I'm doing this for Harry and the kid, not you."

---

Harry stared at the books Hermione had piled up for him. She really didn't have to do all this work for him, but he had to admit, he wasn't minding letting her. He was already into his third week, and as it was nearing its end, Harry was starting to show. There was a tiny itsy bitsy bump on his stomach that looked a bit like gained weight.

"You know what?" Harry said to the bump, "I'm beginning to like you."

It was half true, anyway. The little thing growing inside him was feeling more and more like a part of him. He had seen on TV shows that mothers were supposed to instantly love their children with all of themselves. What if he didn't get that kind of feeling? What if the child had no love because he refused to love it? No one else wanted it… besides Draco, but he didn't count. He only wanted the baby out of obligation. "I wont let it be that way," he whispered.

"Talking to yourself?" Hermione asked, peeking over a new pile of textbooks.

Harry shook his head, "One of your books says talking to the baby is good for it."

"So you actually read them?"

"Don't tell anyone, it will ruin my image," he smiled, but there was no feeling behind it. His image was already ruined.


End file.
